I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
