I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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