I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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