I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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