is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
