i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
