ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
did you just send me my own nude
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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