i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
