seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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