I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
