So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize