his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
