Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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