Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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