I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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