More tranny stories later!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
