I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
