Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
