she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was like eating out sand paper
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
