Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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