I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
