Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
