Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
