That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize