I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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