Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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