Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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