do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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