I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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