Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
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So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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