Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
