Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
