I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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