Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
