Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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