someone get that fucking seahorse.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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