im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
