I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
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let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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