A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
