dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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