somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize