yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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