Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
