god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
