She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
