its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
