I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
