so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
