We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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