they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
