whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
