I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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