I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
