So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
They have beer where we have blood.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
