hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
