We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
