he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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