It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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