The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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