I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
