So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
