your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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